i am your friend
you're my buddy
i would give everything to you
cause you've done so much for me
girl, you're my best friend
i know you would never hurt me
and i promise i will never hurt you too
i wish to share my happiness, my dear
he made me happy
i smile every morning when i wake
when he looked and smiled at me
my dear friend, i'm so happy
i'm so happy when he said i am amazing
so happy when his touches burn my flesh, my soul
i wanna share my joy with you
after all, sharing is caring
i love you my friend
and i know you love me ..
plus your boyfriend loves me too ..
NEGLECTED
Okay, I don’t wanna sound like a whining girlfriend but it’s been a week since I been out on a date with Jared. Well, the most fun I had was two weeks ago when we went to Toy City. It might sound childish but after that, we went window shopping.
FLASHBACK
“Oh, look at those pretty buns. It’s shaped like bunnies” Jared smiled and took my hand. He knows my fascination over cute stuff“Come on Ally, you wanna eat those buns?” he walked towards the bread store “No, I don’t think I can bite something so cute” I pouted We walked past a jeweler store. I took a glance. Oh, look at that beautiful necklace. Then it was gone from my sight as Jared brought me along. I looked at him. He looked so handsome with his brown hair messed up, his face muscle taut and his lips broke into a smile.
END OF FLASHBACK
Now I feel like an unwanted girlfriend. Never in our three years of dating had I ever seen him behave this way. We only see each other in school and after sending me home, he will be nowhere to be found. This couldn’t go on. I tried calling him.
“Hello?” it was a female voice
Great, his phone divert the call to his mom’s phone
“Hi, Mrs Keller is Jared in? “
“Oh no, he’s working”
“Working? Where?” I was really puzzled
“I dunno. He never told me. I thought you knew”
Then I said thanks and hang up. Jared never had financial problems, not that I know of. We never keep secrets from each other. No matter how embarrassing.
FLASHBACK
“I think we ought to get going for the movies” I said Jared nodded and got up after me. As I was heading for the door, he took off his sweater and tie it around my waist from behind. “Jared, what are you doing?” I find him so comical“Umm ... dear . . . I think you might had a leak of red” he whispered I gasped and dragged him out of the café. “Oh no, what am I gonna do? “ I wanted to cry “Don’t worry, I’ll drive you home and you can change” he said “But we’ll miss the movie” I groaned “We can catch it another time. I heard ‘She’s all that ‘gonna be on tv. We can watch” I smiled and hugged him from the waist.“What would I do without you?” I mumbled “Run around town showing the new stain on your pants without knowing it” I playfully punched him as he chuckled.
END OF FLASHBACK
“Your mom said you’re working” I asked
“Yeah, I am. Right after school till 9 pm” he said softly
“Why you didn’t tell me?”
“I dunno. I guess I was waiting until the time is right”
“When is the right time? It’s been a week and a half” a tear rolled down my face
“Hey, shh.. I don’t wanna see my Ally cry” he wiped away my single tear
That phrase was used before
FLASHBACK
I was in a wreck. I have 12 hours before submission and I’m not done with mu assignment. It’s already 9 pm and I’m taking out my frustration at Jared“Baby, calm down. You just type your report” He did all my research and I typed them out. I broke down once because I felt stupid“You can do it Ally. I’m right beside you” he told me as he held my hand I think I fell asleep at 3 am and one hour later, when I woke up, I saw my report was done and Jared had fallen asleep. I smiled and scoot over to him and kissed him.“Thanks J, you save my life” He opened his eyes lazing and smiled as he touched my face. “I just don’t want to see my dear Ally cry” After that, I let him fall asleep.
END OF FLASHBACK
“J, had I been a bad girlfriend?” I asked
He looked shocked “What makes you say that?”
“Well, you won’t tell me why you’re working”
“I just find it more time fulfilling and brought more meaning to life. I feel like a real man”
“Real man needs time with his girlfriend too” I pouted
He smiled and kissed me. I hugged him back. It’s been so long since I get to hug him.
“Ok, you can come to my place after 9 pm or sometimes I can go to work later”
I thought everything was settled. After all, we never had been apart for long.
FLASHBACK
It’s been almost two weeks and I never seen Jared because he went vacation with his family. I looked at the clock. 8 am? Still can in 2 hours of sleep. I tossed and tuned in bed when suddenly the phone rang. Jared. I smiled and picked up the phone.
“Is my baby Ally awake yet?”
“No and she’s gonna kill you for waking her up” I smiled
“I miss you a lot dear” he sounded so warm
“I miss you a lot too. A whole lot” I snuggled on a pillow
DING DONG! I sat up in bed.
“Wait. I’ll go get the door” I said, cradling the phone between my ear and shoulder
“Honey, be careful ya” there was a warning sound in his tone
“Dear, don’t be worrywarts” I opened the door to find Jared out there holding his phone
I gasped and he took this opportunity to kiss me.
“Who is a worrywart?” he smiled
“A guy on the phone” I smiled
My Jared in my living room. Looking gorgeous in cream shirt with jeans while I’m in ducky orange pajamas. Suddenly I feel ugly.
“Dear, let me go get dressed” I blushed
He kissed my forehead.
“ It doesn’t matter. You look beautiful to me any way”
END OF FLASHBACK
“My parents are upstairs. Ally, come in. Let’s watch tv, can we? I’m tired to go out”
I nodded. We were watching some cartoons and then a thought strike me.
“J, next month is our fourth anniversary”
“Hmm.. go on”
“How are we gonna celebrate it?”
“Hmm...”
“I was thinking that you could take a day off then we can go for dinner and then ... “
I turned to see Jared fallen asleep. To say I was not even a bit upset would be a lie so yeah, I am upset but to see my boyfriend so tired, I felt like I can forgive him. The next two weeks, all the time I spent with Jared are so limited. Sometimes he’s so tired, he fell asleep in class once. I wanted to give up, I wanted to call it quits but right that afternoon, Jared came running to me. “Ally, you’re not going to leave me , are you? “ he was out of breath
“Why you say that?” I wonder if he could read my mind
“Because I know I been neglecting you lately and I’m sorry”
”Sorry? I’m very sad. I love you so much and lately I feel like I dunno you” I wanted to cry
“But Ally..”
“Yes, your Ally is crying” I sighed
“Please don’t leave me. Just for a while. I’ll quit my job soon”
Now I feel bad. I think I’ve been a bitch and..
“You’re not a bitch Ally” he said cutting my train of thoughts
He knows me so well. My heart swells to think of that
“I need you. You’re my pulse. You keep the fire in me lighting and burning”
FLASHBACK
“Go Jared!” I screamed
The last minute is almost up. I watched as Brad passed the ball to Jared. He kicked the ball but instead of it went inside the goal, the ball knocked on the goal post and bounced back. Then the whistle is blown. Our team lost. I watched as Jared’s team members walked by him with frowns. “Way to go, Keller”
“You just had to ruin it”
“Nice skills, Jared”
Why they have to be so mean? I walked to Jared and tried to take his hand but he push it away. “Baby, don’t be like that” I pleaded
He sat down at the bench and the cheerleaders moved away, giving us the weird look. Why are those bitches acting like Jared has some infected disease?
“You should go away Ally. You don’t wanna be seen with a loser”
“You want me to dump you because of this?” I was horrified
He looked up at me, and then he gulped
“I don’t blame you if you do” I stared at him, and then I shook my head and sat next to him, held on his arm and lean on his shoulder, despite his sweaty and sticky body. I can shower later but my boyfriend’s spirit is crushed.
“You’re not a loser to me “I mumbled
“Then how come I can’t score the winning goal?”
“It’s just unlucky. It could have been Brad or Jerry or Ian but today, it happen to be you”
“I’m useless”
“Doesn’t mean you’re not talented. Even if the whole world walks out on you, you still got family... and me “
He turned to me and gave a small smile
“You are willing to be the loser’s girlfriend?”
I frowned then I giggled “Why not? When people asked where my boyfriend is , I could just point to you and said that’s the loser .. Oops”
Seriously, I cover my lips. I was so scared he’s angry but he laughed and pinched my cheek
“Well, when they ask who my girlfriend is, I could say the pretty one who digs a loser like me “
I smiled and he turned to me.
“Thank you Ally.. I love you” it was sealed with a kiss
END OF FLASHBACK
I sighed. Yeah, that time he was pretty broken. I was there for him and he was really happy again. I realized, he needed me as much as I needed him.
“Ally baby, please hang on a little while. I refuse to let you go. I know we been apart for a while. I know I’m not the best boyfriend but I will do my very best to give you everything”
How am I supposed to leave him? After all we been through for almost four years
“Ok dear. I love you but can you take a day off on our fourth anniversary?”
“I promise. I wouldn’t miss it for the world” he smiled
My baby is so tired, he looks almost sick. So vulnerable. Reminded me of that time
FLASHBACK
“Hi Ally, come in “ Mrs Keller smiled
I walked in the house and went upstairs to see my boyfriend. There he is , lying in bed, his nose red
“Hi Ally” he sat up in bed
“How are you today?” I kissed his forehead
“A little better. After you walked in, I feel like I can fly” he grinned
“Stop being so cheeky and I’ll let you know the homework”
He groaned and lay back on the pillow. I spent the whole day at his place doing my homework while trying to learn about it myself
“Hey J, what does this word meant?” I asked
He took a look with only half interest and then mumbled something
“Ally, I’m not in the mood” he groaned I leaned over and kissed him. He smiled a little
“Don’t be like that. I came over so that you can catch up with your work”
Jared nodded. “Thanks Ally. I love you”
END OF FLASHBACK
It’s been two months since Jared started working and today is our fourth year anniversary. Things have been going great so far. We go everywhere together in college, all our friends acknowledged us. I feel so loved and so blessed... well until Jared sent me home
“I’ll be right back in an hour” he promised
Why does that sound not assuring? I waited for an hour, then the clock continued to tick but I don’t see Jared anywhere. When I was about to call him, he drove up my driveway
“Where were you?” I asked , half worried and half angry
“Sorry babe. I went to pick something up. Come on, I got something to show you”
He took my hand and lead me to my room. He gave me a box and guide me to the bathroom. “Come on baby, try it on. I wanna see”
I was very confused but I went into the bathroom and opened the box. What is this? Oh.. a dress .. it looks so smooth. I touched the dress. I felt like I was in a dream as I put it on carefully. As I zipped it up, I know it fits perfectly. I turned around to see the black dress wrapped around me. I must be crazy to be wearing a perfect black dress at 4 pm in the bathroom
“Dear, come out. Don’t be shy”
Okay, I am shy but when I opened the door, Jared smiled and came to me
“Ally, you look fabulous. I can’t wait to show you around”
“What you mean show around?” I was horrified
He picked me up like a potato sack, slung over his shoulder and I have to smile
“Very romantic” I teased
Jared laughed and gave me a piggy back ride as he carried me to his car
FLASHBACK
“Wow, the stars are so clear tonight” I smiled
“Yeah, it’s a good thing I have such a big balcony” he chuckled
“Jared, thanks for helping me with the bulletin board”
“No problem, what are friends for?” he smiled I smiled and closed my eyes. The wind blows across my face
“Alyson?”
“Yeah?” I opened my eyes to see Jared looking at me
“J, why are you like that? You’re scaring me “
Jared smiled and took my hand “Ally, I like you a lot. I think you’re all I ever want in a girl. Be my girlfriend?”
I smiled and squeezed his hand. Jared took a bold move and lean forward to kiss me. I didn’t have time to think or react when I felt his lips on mine. Just for a while
“Yes, I will. I had my eyes on you since the first day”
“You should have told me earlier” he looked surprised
“I was afraid you won’t feel the same”
“Not possible” he got up
Then he bent down with his back towards me.
“Hop on to Jared Express” he smiled I laughed and let him piggyback me out of the balcony
END OF FLASHBACK
We were almost reaching the stairs when I whispered in his ear
“Jared Express”
I could see his smile from the corner of his face. I went forward and kissed the side of the lips.
“I love you darling” I held on tighter
We got into the car and I still dunno where we are heading to
“J, where are we going? I need to tell my mom”
“I told your mom where we are going”
“Dear, I wanna know where “ I whined I really like to whine to have my way. Jared looked at me and touched my face with an amused smile.
“Darling, you look really cute when you whine”
That made me giggle. We talked all the way to wherever
“Dear, how about dinner? What you want?” he asked
“ Hmm .. I dunno. What you feel like eating?” I held his hand
Then he squeezed mine tightly
“Some spaghetti with soda”
“Don’t drink too much soda” I smiled
“ You sound like my wife already”
I blushed and looked away. I nagged too much
“I like that” he turned to me
Jared leaned forward and kissed me. I really love him. Then we arrived at the beach
“J, you got me a dress and we’re going to the beach?”
“Why not? I want my lady beautiful and adorable”
We walked down the beach together as Jared told me some of the funny things that happened at work
“I quit my job, Ally. I decided that with the job, I can’t juggle you, studies and friends”
I looked at him silently. Does he feel less than a man now? He looks very contented though. Just then, he sat down and pulled me down as he held me close. That’s when I realize he had chosen the spot to watch the sunset
“Dear, my dress is getting sandy” I spoke quietly
“its ok baby” he rest his face on my head.
FLASHBACK
Jared was playing in the water, splashing around like a small boy
“Come on Ally, the water is fine” he held my hand
As I walked with him towards the water, suddenly he let go off my hand and rubbed his eye. “Ouch, sand got into my eye”
“Where? Let me see it” I tried to pull his hand away
“Dear, can you help me blow?” I blew direct into his eye
“Umm ... no. You didn’t get it. It’s here, see? “he leaned closer I leaned closer to have a better view and ready to blow when he kissed me. I was taken aback but I kissed him back.
“Your eye is fine, isn’t it?” I mumbled He nodded and smiled gently
“I love you Ally. I do”
END OF FLASHBACK
When the sun set, I was almost sleeping in his arms as he gently stroke my hair. It feels really good to be close to him after two months being quite apart
“Dear, come on. The night is still young” he woke me up
I woke up instantly and stood up. Jared put his arms around me, as we walked back to his car
“Baby, where are we dinnering?” I asked
Jared took my hand and brought me further down the beach. Then from a distant, I saw a small table with candles lit. It was beautiful. There were foods on the table.
“Oh Jared, this is beautiful” I swooned
We ate our dinner and I was really amazed by the sound of the beach waves and the candles all lit by the side of our tables
“Ally, I got a present for you” he got up Then he put on a song. That song.
“You remember?” I smiled
FLASHBACK
“Jenny, I don’t wanna go there too but ... “I was on the phone
I was pushing a cart through the rows at the mall, looking for a new towel.
“Alright Jen, I’ll call you in a while” I put away my phone
It might sound corny but when I walked past another cart and hit it, a song played in the mall.
“Sorry” he looked at me
I smiled back and blushed. Very handsome guy
“Jared”
“Alyson”
END OF FLASHBACK
That was five years ago. Today the song still plays. Jessica Simpson and Marc Anthony’s ‘There you were’. Jared looked into my eyes and hand me a box. I opened it and inside was the necklace that I saw at the jewelry store around two months ago
“But this is costly... precious... How... What?”
Then I knew. Jared worked for it. Without realizing, tears rolled down my face.
“I saw you looking at it and decided that I want to get it for you. Ally, I’m serious about us. I really love you and I just don’t wanna hurt you anymore”
How could I scold him? How could I be such a bitch and complained about his work when all these while he work for me? How could I doubt his sacrifice and love for me.
“Come on, you look really beautiful with the necklace”
He had slipped on the necklace for me. Then he took out a ring and slipped it into my finger. I looked at it and there was a stone shaped like a key.
“You hold the key to my heart for always”
“I ... I dunno . . . What to say. I don’t have much for you”
“I don’t need anything. The look on your face is priceless”
“Why ... you don’t need anything? Why are you so good to me? “
“Because I love you too much” he said
I don’t need any other reason. I just knew he is the one for me. I love Jared.
THE END ..
It's been so long
But somehow you're still here
Here in my heart
How can i let you go
I have no tears to cry
No tears to shed anymore
Why would you hurt me so
You left me with the pain
Now I've moved on
But the wound remains
What am i suppose to do?
Am i suppose to forget my love?
You're the first love
And you destroyed my heart
It will take some time
But i will heal again
Goodbye my love
You're my history
i want you to give your all.
but your heart refuse to open.
i stood watching.
as you fall and fall again.
given the chance to stand up.
you never grab it.
now you lose
everytime i try to watch from afar.
i see your strength and your passion.
but you just let it go away
i turn away hoping to see a miracle
but my wish was never answered.
i took for granted.
i really did.
all the times you were here.
how your presence makes me feel
now all that's left
is a feeling of loss inside
i should have expected it
i should have been prepared
but as i said
maybe my heart had never stop
wishing for that miracle.
i'm letting you go.
goodbye dear.
goodbye homie.
goodbye my friend
may you sail through life
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